Do you find it hard to change for the better?
If your answer is yes…
Congratulations! You are not alone.
Changing for the better is more than just changing our behaviors.
If we want to be truly successful in changing ourselves, we must start with our identities.
Imagine crafting a new identity for your ideal self. A version 2.0, so to speak.
Once we have a clear vision of our ideal self, we now approach change from the perspective of our version 2.0. We embody their qualities and attributes in our current lives.
If only execution is as easy as imagination…
Here are five ways to help you navigate your journey of changing for the better, so you can successfully step into your version 2.0.
Expect to fail
Not to be a downer here, but I would be doing you a disservice if I don’t add this to the list.
Often, people who are working on their goals quit at the first sign of trouble.
One of the reasons is because they were not able to properly prepare for the failure.
There is no doubt that expecting success is important if we want to succeed. After all, if we can conceive in our minds that we’ve already achieved our goals, then we have already won half of the battle.
However, on the other end of the spectrum, we can also benefit in expecting to fail from the get-go. Not to discourage ourselves, but so we can plan for the failure.
By anticipating the different scenarios that we could fail, we can plan ahead to avoid failure. And we can create contingency plans so we’ll know what to do if (or when) we do face such scenarios.
Although we cannot anticipate and prepare for everything, at least we already have the advantage of preparing for some of it.
More importantly, by already expecting to fail right from the start, (ideally) we could overcome our fears of failure. Or at least, get used to the possibility, so we won’t get blindsided and overwhelmed when faced with failure.
What does it mean to fail anyway? Personally, I see it as: Whenever I FAIL, I just Found Another Important Lesson. So why fear failure, right?
Accept where you are in your journey
We all have our own journey, timing, and pacing in this life.
If we don’t accept where we are in our journey, then it would be difficult for us to take charge of our destiny.
Acceptance also opens us up to bringing in more peace and joy in our lives.
When we accept where we are, it will be as if we are flowing with the current instead of fighting against it. We are still going to put in the effort to direct the course, but there will be less struggle.
We cannot uplift something that we hate, deny, suppress, and reject.
To change for the better, we first need to acknowledge and accept where we are in our journey.
If we skip this important step, then whatever we do not accept will try to sneak into our future. These sneaky ninjas could cause us to self-sabotage in one way or another.
Start over again…and again…and again…
The journey of stepping into a new version of ourselves and taking on a new identity is not a linear process.
As said in the beginning, we must expect ourselves to fail at least once in our journey.
Old habits and patterns will not be easily changed and transformed.
It’s a seemingly endless battle between our old selves and the person we are becoming.
We will hit a roadblock. We will stumble. We will fall.
And these are totally okay. In fact, these are all part of the process of change.
The sooner we accept this, the sooner we can bounce back.
As long as we are living, we can start over as many times as we want or need to.
Besides, whenever we start over, we come back stronger, wiser, and more resilient than we were before.
Confirm your becoming
This is very important in changing for a better version of ourselves.
Sadly, not everyone is able to do this crucial step.
This will be especially difficult for those who have not yet learned how to re-wire their brains to be more positive-oriented.
It is not our fault. Our brains are just wired to notice the negative because its primary function is to protect us.
This is why we need to be more intentional with this step.
So how can we confirm our becoming?
Simply, by acknowledging and celebrating every little progress we are making into becoming a better version of ourselves.
We tend to focus on how we are missing the mark and how we are still far from our ideal selves. We neglect to see how far we’ve come from the person we were before. We downplay the progress we are making in our daily lives.
But here’s the thing…Big or small — progress is progress.
Therefore, we must actively take notice and confirm how we are becoming our ideal selves every single day.
The daily confirmation also serves as a strategic brainwashing system for your mind to fully believe and take on the identity of your ideal self.
It’s not anymore a process of becoming.
In your internal world, there is no doubt that you are already that person. Now, it’s just a matter of your external world catching up to what is already your Inner Truth — your new I AM.
Expect resistance from yourself and others
It’s a known fact that we prefer what’s known and familiar. Any type of change will be faced with some form of resistance.
It’s the same with changing ourselves. Even if it’s for the better.
In the eyes of our old selves, we are ceasing its existence. Of course, they will do their very best to hold on and keep on existing. This is why it’s so difficult to battle with our old habits and patterns.
In the deeper parts of ourselves, we fear the uncertainty this change will bring. Even if we know that we are stepping into something better, this “something better” is still a big unknown.
Changing ourselves also affect other people.
Whenever we see someone who is changing for the better, we feel this pull — this invitation — to change for the better as well.
Some people will be inspired to change. Great!
However, not everyone is ready and willing to change.
There are those who will feel threatened. If you have people like this in your life, they will be resistant to the new you in hopes of keeping the status quo.
To successfully navigate these internal and external resistance, we need to meet them with love, patience, and compassion. Understand where they are coming from and honor where they are in their own journey.
Be at peace in the knowing that not everyone will be happy with the path you’re taking…and that’s okay. Just let it be.
Focus on your own journey. Go your own way.
Your version 2.0 awaits!
You might also want to read:
Snail’s Pace: The Growth Process
Conversation Snippet About Change