I lived the longer part of my life hating and verbally abusing myself. Physical abuse also happened, but the former was worse because I didn’t believe in my worth as a person. I repeatedly told myself, “I hate you!”
I disowned myself.
It’s been more than 10 years since I took a 180-degree turn. From abusing myself, I now advocate for myself. I intentionally practice showing myself kindness. It is not easy because the negative voice emerges from time to time, but I have learned to cope and overcome through self-compassion. With it comes inner peace and harmony.
Today, I feel a kinship with my old self. “Our” relationship was filled with tears, blood, and pain. But I learned to forgive myself for not knowing what it meant to be truly loved and accepted at that time, which was the reason for my inability to love myself to the full. Because pain was all I knew, that was what I ended up giving myself.
The pains my old self went through served a sacred purpose. They led me to this beautiful journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.
Excerpt taken from Thank Goodness I Got Lost! A Wanderer’s Journey to Self-Discovery.